Stepping Outside of My Comfort Zone
My Own Boudoir Session…
After doing my own boudoir session with Cheyanne, it made me realize how hard I am on myself. I can help other women feel like freaking goddesses, it is what I am good at and I absolutely love doing it. But when it comes to doing that for myself, something gets lost in translation. We see “flaws” in ourselves that those around us never see but to us they shine as bright as the sun on crystal clear day.
When Cheyanne first approached me about getting together and photographing each other I made so many excuses to not do it! I put it off for a couple of months before talking with her again about doing it.
This was not my first or even second boudoir shoot, it was my third. But the biggest difference was that this time I didn’t do the shoot for my soon to be husband, or for my husband for our anniversary, I did it for me. That’s it!
It is easier for us to justify doing things, if it is for someone other than ourselves. Some of us find it so hard to spend time or money on anything that is for us alone.
Yes, my husband will definitely love them and he had “requests” but the experience was for me alone. Now that does not mean that I did not have fears or insecurities that I couldn’t stop stressing and obsessing over... shopping for outfits was terrible! I hate shopping for myself anyways, so having to try lingerie on was a nightmare. I went to several different stores, ordered several pieces online not having a clue if they were going to fit or look good on me at all. It was so stressful! I had to keep reminding myself why I was doing this. I needed this experience for myself. I needed to feel beautiful, to feel empowered, to not feel like an overweight exhausted mom of three..lol
The nerves and butterflies kept creeping up on me leading up to the day of my session. On the morning of the shoot, I was feeling so nervous about my weight, my outfits not working, and just feeling horrible. I told my husband that I should just stay home, and my husband said, “you do this for a living, you know what to do?!” And I said yes, I do this for others not myself. Putting myself and my own “flaws” in front of the camera is completely different. But he made me realize that hell yes I could do this, I needed to do this! So sucked it up and got in my car.
Once I finally got on the road, I started to feel a little more relaxed and confident that I could do this (and not get lost on the way to her studio..). The butterflies crept back in when I first saw Cheyanne, holding the door to her studio open. We had never met in person before this day. We have followed each other and have been in the same photography groups for several years and had chatted online but that was it. So seeing her standing at the door waiting for me fully glammed up and ready for her shoot, brought all those nerves back up to the surface.
Getting to relax in the makeup chair defiantly helps to alleviate some of those nerves. It gives our bodies time to adjust to being in a new environment and having the time to chat with the person you are about to be half dressed or even naked in front of defiantly helps with those butterflies. Let me tell you, being in my lingerie in front of a “stranger” was nothing compared to making that choice to get completely naked in front of her! I completely understand my own clients hesitation and nerves that go into making that choice. But I promise it is so freeing, stripping away those unnecessary clothing items brings it own sense of confidence. We can get bogged down by how our clothes fit and lay against us that we lose our self-worth in clothes of all things. Now I’m not saying I am going to go join a nudist colony, but there is something to being completely free. Free from worry, self-doubt, and embracing those “flaws” that only we see. The journey of self-love is the hardest path we will ever walk, but it is so worth it.
I am so happy that I decided to step out of my comfort zone from behind the camera and got in front of it. This is experience was SO hard but so worth it! Every woman should take the time to do something for themselves, no one else just for their own benefit. Of course if that just happens to be a session with me, I wouldn’t be mad at ya ; )
Images were taken by Cheyanne Marie Boudoir
Edited by Candace Gurley Photography
HAVE YOU BEEN SEEKING A LONG TERM INVESTMENT TO CAPITALIZE ON YOUR INDIVIDUAL BEAUTY?
A BOUDOIR SESSION IS THE ANSWER!
Candace Gurley Photography is a full service boutique boudoir portrait photographer serving south Mississippi, including Ocean Springs, Pascagoula, Gautier, Biloxi, Diberville, Gulfport, and surrounding areas.